Joe lands on Pluto during the Criminals' Party Congress.  The criminals are bemoaning the emergence of Homewatch schemes which make house breakers' lives a lot harder.

It’s a crime, it’s a crime, it’s a crime.

Verse 1
It’s a crime, it’s a crime
Tell you buddy it’s a crime
Bars on the windows and a guard dog in the drive,
Bolts on the front door and a locked gate around the side
It’s a crime, it’s a crime, it’s a crime.

Verse 2
It's a steal, it's a steal, 
Tell you buddy it's a steal, 
Infra red sensors and a lock on ev'ry wheel,
Chains on the moped and a wretched Homewatch scheme,
It's a steal, it’s a steal,
It's a steal.

It's a steal, it’s a steal,
It's a steal, it’s a steal,
It's a steal, it’s a steal,
It's a steal, it’s a steal,
It's a steal.

Verse 3
Don't get nicked, don't get nicked, 
Listen buddy don't get nicked, 
Listen to the old man and he'll tell you where to stick, 
Stick to your own patch and keep out the way of The Law, 
If you don't, you’ll get nicked, 
That’s for sure.

Don’t get nicked, don’t get nicked,
Don’t get nicked, don’t get nicked,
Don’t get nicked, don’t get nicked,
Don’t get nicked, don’t get nicked,
Don’t get nicked.

Verse 4
It’s a crime, it’s a crime
Tell you buddy it’s a crime
Bars on the windows and a guard dog in the drive,
Bolts on the front door and a locked gate around the side
It’s a crime, it’s a crime, it’s a crime.
 
 

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