I Quit!
by John Stott & Geoff Edkins
© 1986

Joe and the space travellers visit the headquarters of the Mercurial Singing Telegram and Insult a Friend Service where there is an Industrial Dispute going on.  The workers don't like the drivel they've got to sing and tell their boss in no uncertain terms what they're going to do about it. 

Trivia note - this song was written at about 2:00 a.m. on the morning the sheet music went to the printers - and it shows.

Verse 1
I quit - I’ve had it up to here and
I quit - just wanna make it clear that
I quit - I’ve had enough, you hear? So
I quit!

I’ve had enough of this ridiculous business,
I’ve had enough of this crazy job and
I’ve had enough of this outrageous costume,
I’ve had enough and I can’t go on!

I quit - you’ve done it this time, coz
I quit - I’m drawing the line and
I quit - I’m wasting my time so
I quit -  hear this cretinous rhyme.

Telegram 1
Well done, old fellow, you’ve got a new job
Now everything’s rosy and your uncle is Bob,
You’re moving on to a better place,
Now there’ll be no one to spit in your face,
So, the time has come for to bid you farewell,
And can you take Gladys, the teas-maid as well?

Verse 2 
I quit - I’ve had it up to here and
I quit - just wanna make it clear that
I quit - I’ve had enough, you hear? 
I quit!

Gorilla: I’ve had enough of this monkey business,
Nun:  I’ve had enough of this Abbey Habit,
Tarzan: I’ve had enough of this swinging about,
Girl:  I can’t read any more of this!

I quit – we’re all of one mind, and
I quit – we’re gonna resign, so
I quit – you bucket of slime,
I quit – hear these terrible lines.

Telegram 2
And so, it’s your birthday and you’re getting old,
You’re over the hill, now, that’s what I’ve been told,
Your hair it will fall out and soon you’ll be bald,
Your face will be wrinkled and covered with warts,
But look on the bright side, things can’t get much worse,
For this is the end of this trite little verse.

Verse 3
We quit – now this is the end,
We quit – no need to pretend,
We quit – that’s what we intend,
We quit – you’ve driven us round the bend

We quit – now this is the end,
We quit – no need to pretend,
We quit – that’s what we intend,
We quit – you’ve driven us round the bend

WE QUIT!!
 
 

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